Pregnancy Reading and Fear Operatives

When you start to grow another human inside of you, you get pretty freaked out. You want to consume every last bit of information to help calm these fears. Except typically most of the reading makes you feel even more afraid. Add on top of this the wild world of the internet and bizarre birth imaging on TV and in movies and you pretty much have a recipe for disaster. I have always found that writing about my fears and worries helps to lessen the intensity if they do come true. By using words to bring them to life, and often my voice in spoken word settings, I accept them and embrace them.

I wrote this poem in 2010 before Lennon was born but I find it resonates with me now as well.

Fear Operatives

amniocentesis  spina bifida  placenta previa  soft signs 

of down syndrome  gestational diabetes  ectopic

pregnancy  incompetent cervix  miscarriage

miscarriage  miscarriage  

nine fingers  ten toes  two ears  no nose

blind  cleft palate  multiples  losing 

a multiple  iron deficiency anaemia

pre eclampsia or eclampsia

prolapsed umbilical cord   breech

preterm labour  polyhydraminos

hyperemesis gravidarum  umbilical 

cord asphyxiation

episiotomy  meconium filled

lungs  pushing and tearing

haemorrhaging after

after birth

still born

Hosting a poetry event just 3 weeks before Lennon was born