Monday, 17 December 2012

Pregnancy Reading and Fear Operatives

When you start to grow another human inside of you, you get pretty freaked out. You want to consume every last bit of information to help calm these fears. Except typically most of the reading makes you feel even more afraid. Add on top of this the wild world of the internet and bizarre birth imaging on TV and in movies and you pretty much have a recipe for disaster. I have always found that writing about my fears and worries helps to lessen the intensity if they do come true. By using words to bring them to life, and often my voice in spoken word settings, I accept them and embrace them.

I wrote this poem in 2010 before Lennon was born but I find it resonates with me now as well.

Fear Operatives

amniocentesis  spina bifida  placenta previa  soft signs 
of down syndrome  gestational diabetes  ectopic
pregnancy  incompetent cervix  miscarriage
miscarriage  miscarriage  

nine fingers  ten toes  two ears  no nose
blind  cleft palate  multiples  losing 
a multiple  iron deficiency anaemia
pre eclampsia or eclampsia

prolapsed umbilical cord   breech
preterm labour  polyhydraminos
hyperemesis gravidarum  umbilical 
cord asphyxiation

episiotomy  meconium filled
lungs  pushing and tearing
haemorrhaging after
after birth

still born

Hosting a poetry event just 3 weeks before Lennon was born

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